I usually try to keep my work and PMPcomedy separate, but this was an event worth scribbling about. Not just because it was loaded with celebrities, free booze, and all that red carpet doodycakes, but because it was freakin sweet (coming from a guy that doesn’t really get into the whole “Hollywood” scene)…

Now, people ask me quite frequently, “Do you, like, become jaded by all the celebrities that you see?” Now first of all, I don’t see that many celebrities–at least not many that are worth noting. Secondly, I’m already jaded. And I’d prefer if you stay out of my business. And thirdest, and I’ve said this before–I don’t care much for celebrities. They’re just people, and most of the time, very screwed up, boring people. Plus, I’m probably the worst person in the world with recognizing/naming celebrities. I don’t read Star Magazine or give a shit about whether some stupid B-list actress has stretch marks. Unless it’s from an alien baby. Then I’m there.

But I was lucky enough to go to the Cloverfield Premiere last week, which was the tits. Sweet as buttermilk. We’ve worked very hard on that movie, so it was really cool to see it all come together with all the glitz and glammor and shitz.

Lets start from the red carpet. Now, I’ve been to a couple big parties for TV shows and other stuff Ive worked on, but I’ve never seen anything like this before. It was legit. E! News was there, as well as a few other big camera crews. So there’s a red carpet and lined all around it – and I mean PACKED IN, every square inch around it – was paparazzi, media, and photographers. All screaming at the top of their lungs “Hey!! Lindsay! Look to your left! To your left! Lindsey!! Oh, your beautif—Wait!! Wait! Look–Look to the right!! To the RIGHT!” Now imagine literally 200 people all screaming the same thing at these people. At the same time. All trying to get the perfect shot. It was like waving a banana in front of a cage of rabid monkeys, and hearing them all scream and hurl feces.

So then everyone files into the movie. And it goes really well. People loved it. Just an FYI, if you haven’t seen the movie…it rocks. Go see it.

And then there’s the afterparty. Again, this shit was legit. In fact, on a Scale of Legit, this party was freakin “MC Hammer”.

It was on the Paramount lot–the historic lot where so many young actresses got their first big role–on a huge soundstage that they converted into a mega-party room. The stage was right off the NYC streets that they have on the lot (where we shot part of the movie), so that was cool to like “walk through NYC” into the party. And they had the huge, ripped-off head of the Statue of Liberty from the movie in the front of the party. I was tempted to do a keg stand off of it, but I resisted. Instead, I stuck my hand up it’s nose (see above).

The inside of this soundstage had been fully decorated in club-esque blue lights, with multiple levels of sitting/dancing areas, and a DJ spinning what I would call “mad tracks”. Oh, and there was five open bars. Free booze. With top shelf liquor. I hadn’t seen drink service that good since pre-scientology Tom Cruise in Cocktail.

Now, I said before, I’m not a celebrity person. I don’t get excited about them. But I have to admit, some of the people at this party got me a little moist. Besides the entire cast of Cloverfield and the upcoming Star Trek movie, and most of the cast of Heroes, that were all in attendance, there were some real stars:

Rainn Wilson (Dwight from “the Office”), Joel McHale (from “The Soup”, one of the best shows on TV), Ron Jeremy (yes, the Hedgehog), Ashlee Simpson (perhaps best known for her soulful performance on SNL), and Lindsey Lohan.

So it was exciting to see some of these people in the flesh, face-to-face, all pumped up to see our movie. Me and Dwight, just having a drink not 5 feet apart. Very cool. Now, I know the next question is, “Well? Where are your pictures with them?”

And I reply to you: go watch Gossip Girl. I’m not going to be the annoying person asking them for a picture when they are at our press-free afterparty. I’d rather observe them in their natural habitat, and let them enjoy themselves. To me, it’s much cooler to just drink in the same vicinity with some of my comic idols, than to go up and freak them out.

Plus, I really don’t care that much. And I have to admit, these people really look like slobs when they are not on TV. I mean, I respect Rainn Wilson and Joel McHale a great deal comically, but dudes looked like hell. But hey, I guess I would too if I could get away with it. Again, they’re just real people ….with a lot of facial hair.

Anyway, it was a blast. Go see Cloverfield!

ROOOOOOAAAAARR!!