Bring on the prescriptions.

I was watching TV this week, and the most recent Viagra commercial came on. Have you seen this ad?! It’s a group of about 12 musicians in a recording studio, jamming out to what you think is a hip, twangy version of “Viva Las Vegas”. There’s also a Record Producer and a Manager bobbing their heads–everyone’s loving it.

And in a move of synchronized brainpower–true artistic genius–all the musicians bust out singing “Viva Viagra”. Then they actually play all their instruments with their erections (the Violinist is amazing). This isn’t the newest ad in the recording studio, but you’ll get the idea.

I laughed out loud. And you gotta love the guy playing stand-up bass. I think this is the exact moment the Viagra kicked in:

But seriously, what is the deal with these commercials? They’re absurd.

Sure, guys have erectile dysfunction. But did I miss an Evite to a Viagra party? I thought the statistic was something like 1 in 4 guys experience E.D.—and unless this was some sort of self-help group, everyone of these guys was all hopped up on the blue.

My friend turned to me and said, “You know, Viagra has become a pretty big party drug.” And I just looked at the commercial. All these guys jamming out, having a blast, singing about Viagra. Dicks hard. Smiles on their faces. And all I said was, “Well…Look at this ad. It’s awesome.”

It makes it look fun. Normal. Like everyone is doing it. I mean, it certainly feels like a party in the commercial. Look at it. These guys pop a Blue, sing a song…then go home, beat their wives, and have make-up sex for up to 36 hours.

It’s the Camel Cigarettes of our generation. Only, instead of cancer, your penis might explode. That’s called “priapism”, kids!

And people wonder why our country is over-prescribed. Parent’s crying “Why?! I don’t understand!” But then you watch TV, and every 3rd advertisment is for some new drug. Cialis, Zrytec, Vicodin, DDCakozine.

And apparently, every kid in our country now has A.D.D. I guess no one has the ability to concentrate anymore. I mean, take a look at this print ad for Adderall:

I just don’t think it gives off the right message. And that slogan, “It’s for everyone”…that may be a tad misleading.

So I guess what I’m saying is, the next time you hear a song you like, make sure you change the words to suit your favorite prescription drug. It will sound better, and more importantly, it will make you feel better.
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**May not make you feel better. May cause nausea, constipation, heart attacks, and gas with oily discharge (aka shitting your pants). In rare cases, you may experience a sudden sex change. If your erection lasts longer than four hours, to avoid long-term injuries, it is important to seek immediate medical help.