It has come to my attention that the news media in our country sucks. It’s like every media outlet has simulatenously agreed to pop cyanide pills, crap their pants, and give up on life. Just throw their hands in the air and said, “ahh, What the hell. Let’s lead with Britney’s cooter […]

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Who the hell is this stupid?

Coincidentally, this is actually how Tito Burrito was born. And to the Police of Mountain View, nice detective work. For your next assignment, you should investigate how f***king stupid the people at WalMart are.

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addthis_title = ‘Baby+Burrito’;
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Music lovers, there is much to be thankful for. These next few months will be ripe with releases from some pretty great artists. Namely, Weezer, Death Cab, uhh…The Presidents of the United States of America?
Yeah, I just found out they actually came out with a CD this month. I’ll check it out […]

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You know what, we’re going old school today. Screw you guys. I hope you packed a lunch…because we’re taking a ride down Rock-y Road and I need some bananas.
The first pick comes from Spoon. You’d swear these guys were the a limey BBC import, but these guys actually hail from Austin, Texas, […]

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Ever go into a restaurant and see someone with a Seeing Eye Dog and be like, “Damn, I wish that dog was a miniature horse?” Or see a scientist and be like, “Why isn’t he using those test tubes for horse shrinking?”
Me too. I say it almost every time. In fact, I […]

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Some great music coming out these days. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, the Vampire Weekend album is fantastic. Pick that up, then takes some HGH to pump yourself up for these hot picks:
The first song is the new single from Death Cab For Cutie’s upcoming album, “Narrow Stairs”. […]

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There’s one thing worse than a sexual predator, and that’s a sexual predator that’s been sexual-predatorized by Big Foot. Yes, in a time when even rumors of Sasquatch’s existence seem suspect, one man claims to not only have seen him, but to have been aggressively violated by him.
You think this guy would have snapped […]

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A wise man once said, “Kids say the darndest things”. I think his name was Bill Crosby, or Jello Pudding or something. But someone said it, and they were certainly onto something. But while kids can do some “darned things”, I think it’s more important to point out that people—yes, full grown […]

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By Scott Glockholder
When a 17-year old prick in white sunglasses can influence grown NBA players with his rudimentary, droning chorus, “Crank that, soulja boy,” I think we’ll all agree there is no God. And without any God, there aren’t any morals. And without any morals, it’s quite all right to chuckle at women being […]

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Throw up your fisticuffs, because it’s time to crank on the PMP jukebox and start some shit. If your at work, turn the volume to full blast. And when your boss comes over, just look him in the eyes and say, “You wanna fight about it?”.
The first pick comes from a personal favorite […]

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Treadmill videos are a dime a dozen. Honestly, we get it. People fall and it’s hilarious. But every once in a while, a tantalizing little treadmill video is thrown to the masses. And this is one of them.
What’s better than two stupid girls on a treadmill? Two stupid girls on […]

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