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Whenever my seatbelt gets bunched up or restrictive, there’s always one thing I need but never have. A tiddy.

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In the wake of the Bush Shoe Throw video, many people have been left with an empty feeling inside, and the same thought in their head: “I wish I threw that shoe…”

Well, thanks to these evil geniuses, now you can.

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You see these motivational posters popping up all over the internet, and honestly, most of them are pretty damn funny. I posted a gallery a while back HERE, but I was recently sent some new additions that are just too good not to share.

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He finally did it…

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I have an important issue to discuss with you all. Namely, to introduce you to a new word that I’ve recently added to my lexicon of useless words. Below is an excerpt from the PMPdicktionary.

“FFF” (Abbrev. Facebook Friends Forever)
- noun, verb, adjective

1) n. A person who, even at the height of your acquaintanceship, you barely knew…but befriended on Facebook. Now, years later, this person is still your “friend”, and you enjoy looking at their profile as well as their attractive friends.

Example: “I just spent the last 30 minutes perusing through my FFF’s new album entitled ‘Friday Night With the Girls! xoxo’. It was awesome.”

2) v. The overuse of your “friend” status on a person you’re not really friends with. ie - excessive “poking”, wall posts, or friending of a FFF friend’s friends.

Example: “Ewww…this fucking creepy Dude kept FFF’ing my friend Alison. The police found her poked to death.”

3) adj. A term that describes your flimsy, practically non-existent relationship with a Facebook Friend that, in reality, is not your friend at all. But she/he is on Facebook.

Example: “Oh man! Those are such FFF pictures. Did you see all those deep cuts?”

Origin:
circa 2008. PMPcomedy douchebag; ME friend, facebook friend; derivitive: best friends forever

Unfortunately, I’ve found myself staring at “FFF”’s profiles and drifting off into a world of “what”, “who’s”, “creepy dude”. Was she in my Spanish class freshman year? Did I make out with this chick at an Around the World Party? How the hell do I know this person?

Take for example, the lovely Nicole below. She was a friend of my ex-girlfriend in college. Yes, I did actually know her for a period of several months. But now, she’s a total FFF. We’ll be Facebook Friends Forever, because she’s hot, and when her profile pops up randomly in my “Friend” category, you better believe I’m checking out the updates. I mean, come on…that’s what friends are for!

The best part is, as an FFF, I have to do absolutely nothing to maintain our non-existent friendship! Way to go me!

So, I pass it to you, dear reader. If you have more FFF’s on your Facebook profile than real friends, you should probably take a break from the internet for a few years. Or, more likely, go out and find more FFF’s using the “People You May Know” feature. It’s very rewarding.

Hell, you may be one of my FFF’s, or maybe just a straight-up BFF. And if you’re Nicole, then I want you to know, there’s no hard feelings when you un-friend me. You’ll be my first Ex-FFF.

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Google is god among internet searching, but it’s also a huge pervert. There’s been many a time when I go to search for something, and wind up instead clicking on the rediculous things it auto-suggests. Here’s a funny collection of stupid Things Google Suggests (make sure to read all of them in the drop down menu).

Is it weird to get a boner while grinding? I don’t think so.

Link submitted by BreastestBrohan

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Here’s the latest Digital Short from SNL. It’s a funny, weird, and does a hilarious rip on Titanic, which I appreciate. (ie - That movie sucks balls)

Plus, it stars Paul Rudd, and when that dude puts on his pants, he makes gold records.

I love this song…

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Ever wonder how Japanese people settle a bet?

If you said “play a game of tug-of-war with panty hose over their head”, then go buy yourself a dumpling on PMP*.

*Please send all dumpling bills to Adam Salup (aka the Duke)

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In the scheme of internet videos, “fat kid getting owned” is pretty standard issue. But, honestly, it never gets old. Or less funny.

Here, you can see a kid imitating the Crocodile Hunter in the middle of a river. How quickly the hunter becomes the hunted…

I love how his voice cracks.

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Thanks to the internet, a bunch of old G.I. Joe PSAs have been redubbed for our dumbed-down viewing pleasure. A few of the best ones are “Porkchop Sandwiches” and “Computer“.

They’re weird and stupid, but funny. Here’s a Best Of compilation…

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Man, oh man, this is AWESOME! Here’s all the set up you need:

A large black woman. Singing. All around her apartment. Including On A Coffee Table.

If you’re impatient, skip to about 2:05. Or if you want the full-on experience, I recommend you watch the whole thing from the beginning. It’s like watching an M. Night Shyamalan movie — there’s so much suspense!!

Video submitted by Big Tit’Tays

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